Kiss
Puke
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
