Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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