Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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