Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize