so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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