jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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