Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
