my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i believe in u and ur pee
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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