why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
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How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
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just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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