You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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