i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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