so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
