so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Randomize
