And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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