My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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