i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
