K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
