So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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