Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Randomize
