i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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