ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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