It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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