Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
