why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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