While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
