i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
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One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
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No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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