I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
