have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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