summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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