Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
