I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
