Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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