don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
