I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
