My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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