she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
