He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
