he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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