doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
