It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
