Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(406): View more from Montana

Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.

Fav 73 2416 1091
share tweet
(612): View more from Minnesota

if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry

Fav 20 819 3068
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(425): View more from Washington

My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.

Fav 18 8075 1442
share tweet
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT

Fav 17 4931 1358
share tweet
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(937): View more from Ohio

i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.

Fav 22 2262 8970
share tweet
(505): View more from New Mexico

He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.

Fav 7 1538 5037
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home

Fav 12 3775 1147
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(774): View more from Massachusetts

I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.

Fav 0 1056 527
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(218): View more from Minnesota

I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.

Fav 1 59 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT