wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
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We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after