I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
