Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
