I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
