You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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