I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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