i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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