Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
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You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
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If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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