dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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