some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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