Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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