I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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