Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
