We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
