So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize