I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize