May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
