i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
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True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
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he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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