C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
