fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
